ENDings and Beginnings
by usagi-kun1217
Summary: Etherious Natsu Dragneel. E.N.D. Everyone knows Natsu's supposed to become Zeref's most powerful demon, right? However, Zeref didn't plan on a plucky little blond interrupting his plans... [Rated M for violence, adult themes and later lemons. NaLu; NatsuXLucy; END] ZipZapAttack owns the cover picture.
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

**A/N Everyone is jumping on the E.N.D. train and with good reason. Personally I think a demon Natsu would be SUPER hot. But I also started thinking…how can I put my own twist on this? What can I add that hasn't been yet? Then it hit me: what if Lucy interrupted the spell? How would things go down then? So here we go. Read and review, everyone! Leave me some thoughts for how to keep going! I'll try to update a few times a week, I promise!**

Zeref was laughing, holding the book high above his head.

"You fools! You should know better than to let your petty bickering outweigh your caution!" Still smirking, he opened the heavy book. I could feel my skin pull tight as the weight of what he was unleashing bore down on the world. I could also see that I was in deep shit.

I stood, facing off against Zeref, my brain frantically trying to work out how to get out of this in one piece.

"Natsu, no!"

I heard Lucy's voice but never took my eyes from my opponent. I knew if I gave him a single opportunity, he'd unleash E.N.D. on me. That was something I could never allow. Igneel hadn't sacrificed himself just for me to lose.

In the end, however, keeping eye contact didn't matter.

I saw his mouth moving, saw the book glowing in the darkness surrounding us. Saw the avalanche of pure evil rolling right for me.

And then I was tumbling sideways, rolling head over heels. I looked up in time to see Lucy, my Lucy, directly in the path of that wall of shadow. Time seemed to stop as I scrambled to my feet, racing back to her. Too late. Too slow.

The avalanche collapsed on her.

I could see her chocolate brown eyes pleading with me, saw an outstretched hand reaching for me, watched as her lips formed my name.

Then she was gone.

For a moment, total silence reigned, like someone had blocked my ears. The silence was shattered, however, by a piercing scream that erupted from the center of that darkness. It hooked itself into my heart and tore it into separate pieces. From the corner of my eye I saw Gray lean over and retch at the sound of that scream. Pain. Agony. Soul-shattering torture. I still can't explain what emotion was echoed in that sound. But when it cut off suddenly, and the black cloud dissipated, there was nothing left. Like Lucy had screamed herself out of existence.

And took my soul with her.


	2. Chapter 2 - Natsu

**A/N So I know the summary of the story says later lemons…SURPRISE! We're doing it now! Sorry guys, I realized I wanted to take it this direction after I wrote that summary. If you have no interest in lemons, please skip the italicized text. Please review so I know if the direction is ok!**

" **Soundtrack" – Broken by Seether and Amy Lee**

 **Natsu**

 _The heat of her body below me set my own skin to burning. When she rolled her hips against me, I thought I might explode. The feel of her hands on my bare skin drove me to distraction. And when she moaned my name…_

" _Naaatssuuuu….."_

 _I couldn't resist burying my face in the crook of her neck, pressing my lips against the heated flesh, skimming my tongue against her skin. With careless abandon I sank my teeth into her neck, tasting the vanilla of her scent mixing with the sweet blood that filled my mouth. She shuddered beneath me and arched up, pressing her voluptuous breasts against my chest. Our moans mingled._

" _Natsu, pleeassseee," she begged._

 _I pulled my mouth away from her skin and met her gaze. "Well," I replied with a cocky grin, "since you're so pretty when you beg me…"_

 _She swatted my shoulder but the hand fell limply against me as I pressed my hardened length against her heated core. The thin fabric of her bikini bottom and my swim trunks did nothing to dull the sensation. I hissed softly. It felt so good!_

 _Meanwhile, she was panting beneath me, her brow furrowed, her blond hair mussed beyond redemption as she thrashed her head on the pillow. "So beautiful…" I murmured._

 _Her eyes flew wide, her brown eyes boring into mine. "N-Natsu…" she whispered before sliding her hands up my back and into my hair, pulling me down for a kiss that completely rocked my world. When we finally broke apart, we were BOTH panting._

" _Natsu please. I-I can't wait any longer. I need you…" she trailed off, but I fervently agreed. I levered myself up and practically tore her bikini bottom off, pausing long enough to enjoy the view before ripping my swim trunks off and tossing them carelessly across the room._

" _Are you sure, Luce?" I leaned down to nuzzle her cheek with my nose, enjoying the vanilla scent of her skin._

" _Absolutely, Natsu. Now hurry!" She raised her hips toward mine, her body pleading with me. I chuckled as I braced my weight on my forearms, my lips pressed against her shoulder, and slid my length into her welcoming heat._

 _Ho-ly shit. I threw my head back, gasping at how tight and wet she was. I glanced down to see tears in her eyes and her mouth set in a painful grimace. Mastering my need to pound into her and mark her forever as mine, I took a deep breath and held as still as possible, feathering kisses along her jawline, over her cheekbones and to the tip of her nose and lips._

 _After what felt like an eternity, I could feel her walls close around me and she rolled her hips experimentally, her face growing redder as her lips parted on a silent gasp. I gritted my teeth as she moved again, this time sliding her hands down my sides and around to my ass._

" _Luce, I don't think I can wait…" I muttered. Her shallow movements were pushing me to my limit._

 _One slim thigh slid up against mine and she wrapped her long leg around me, moaning at how it must have changed the way I felt inside of her. "Then don't wait, Natsu. I need….I need…."and she squeezed my ass, urging me forward at the same time with the pressure from her leg._

 _A low growl escaped my throat as I slid completely inside of her, the heat and wet and squeezing nearly ending things before they began. I took a few deep breaths, my forehead pressed against hers, before I slid myself nearly back out, then returned with a deep thrust._

 _Lucy's eyes popped wide and she groaned deep in her chest. Encouraged, I repeated the movement. As she arched against me, something inside me snapped. I grabbed her hips and slammed deep within her. I could feel her nails slicing crescents into my back as I continued to pound into her, unable to stop myself. And even though she was obviously new to this, my sweet, strong Lucy met me thrust for thrust. She wrapped her other leg around me and clung to me like a creeper vine, riding the storm of our sex. I could feel myself getting close and I tried to slow down, tried to give Lucy a chance to finish with me._

" _God no, Natsu don't stop, please! I'm so close!" she cried out against my chest._

 _That was all the encouragement I needed. Rising to my knees, I slammed my hips against hers, driving deep inside of her welcoming heat. Her hands fisted in the sheets and she arched up, her eyes unfocused and wide, her long moan of ecstasy echoing off the walls of the tiny shed we were sharing. I thrust hard a few more times before following her off the cliff._

 _Collapsing to her side, I bundled her against my chest, stroking the sweat-soaked skin of her back with the tips of my fingers._

" _Mmm, Natsu?" she whispered from where her head rested on my chest, directly over my heart._

" _Yeah Luce?"_

" _I'm glad my first time was with you."_

" _Me too, Luce."_

" _I love you." I could feel her mouth shape the words against my skin._

" _I love you too," I whispered back._

 _We fell asleep that way. The last thing I saw was the angelic smile gracing her lips as darkness claimed me._

I open my eyes, awareness returning slowly. My brain still foggy, I reach an arm out for Lucy, only to discover I am alone in the bed. I slide my hand down the cold sheets, sleep making me take longer to process. Then reality hits me in the face. My heart clenches and my stomach heaves. I roll swiftly to my side and curl myself into a ball, my body shaking with the unrestrained sobs that rack my chest.

 _It was just a dream. Lucy's still…she's still…._

I stay that way for a long time, trying like hell to calm my breathing. It's been six months, but I still havn't gotten over losing her like that. Or at all. Every day I've dragged myself out of my bed and to the guild, where I pretend to be ok. I pretend to fight with Gray, I pretend to fight with Gajeel, I pretend to be scared of Erza, but I can't help noticing the empty spot by my side, the silence at night.

I spent the first week following Lucy's…following the fight with Zeref, in Lucy's apartment, laying in her bed, surrounding myself with her scent. After a week, Erza and Cana dragged me screaming from her place and threw me into the canal for a bath. Snarling, I had pulled myself from the water, heading back for Lucy's apartment, only to run into the landlady, who informed me that Lucy's rent was due. I gave her the jewels without a second thought. A month passed and her rent was due again. I took Happy and we completed a mission and I returned, handing the landlady the jewels again. I've been paying the rent on Lucy's apartment like clockwork ever since.

It was right around the fourth time that Erza noticed.

"Natsu? What are you doing?" She had stopped me at the request board.

"I'm looking for a job, why?" Even I winced at the mechanical quality of my voice.

"You're paying L-L-" Unable to say the name, Erza grunted. "You're paying her rent. There's no use in that. You should be using the reward to…"

I'm not certain what the expression on my face was but it was enough to make Erza trail off uncertainly.

"When she comes home," I growled softly, reaching out and grabbing a random job request, "she needs some place to come _home_ to. I'm making sure she has that."

Erza's face crumpled a little, but her voice was steady as she replied, "She's never coming home Natsu. Lucy is gone."

For a moment I couldn't understand why Erza was suddenly on the floor across the room, then I looked down and realized I had _punched_ her. Part of my brain began to panic, running around in gibbering circles; another part was high-fiving itself. Both parts said at the same time _What's Lucy going to say?_ That made a third part of my brain just stare at the other two parts until the reality sank in again and I realized the answer was _Nothing. Lucy's not going to say anything._ A small fourth part wondered if I was starting to go crazy.

Meanwhile, Erza was climbing slowly to her feet and the entire guild had fallen silent.

"We all miss her, Natsu, but you can't keep deluding yourself. If you want to honor her memory, you need to be strong and move forward."

I dismissed her, turning back to the job request I'd ripped from the board. However, my dragon hearing didn't miss Gramps stopping beside Erza and laying a hand on her arm before murmuring softly, "Let him go. There's no harm in letting him grieve in his own way."

"But Master, he-"

"Give him time. Give us all time. "

I ignored them both and stormed out of the guild hall on my mission. _Please Lucy. Please come back. I can't live without you._


	3. Chapter 3 - Lucy

**A/N – I have some serious concerns about this chapter. I realize I'm going pretty OOC with everyone but I like to believe that, in the face of the type of trauma Lucy and Natsu have experienced, anyone would change. But I'm really concerned that I'm not capturing Lucy properly. Please R/R so I can make changes as necessary? Also, yes, I realize I'm being deliberately vague. You shall see her when her** _ **nakama**_ **does and not a moment sooner!**

 **Soundtrack – "Coming Home Part II" by Skylar Gray**

 **Lucy**

 _Please Lucy. Please come back. I can't live without you._

The distant voice calls to me. I open my eyes slowly, reluctant to leave the dream that isn't a dream, the softly spoken words echoing in my mind. Vaguely I realize those words were never spoken in that memory. That bright, shiny memory of the first time Natsu and I made love is all that continues to drive me. If not for the knowledge that he loves me, I would have given up months ago. _Eons_ ago. Even in the darkness, the pain, the terror... The memory of that night, after we talked to Warrod…after relaxing in the hidden hot spring, that memory is my salvation.

"Wake up, girl." The terse voice greets me the same as it has these many months.

"I am awake," I grumble and push myself upright, my joints protesting my night on the cave floor. Silly joints. I've been sleeping in this cave since I… I skitter away from completing that thought. Some things are still too painful.

"Well? Are you ready to leave my forest?"

I meet Porlyusica's red eyes evenly. She no longer intimidates me as she once did. I've been here too long for that, anymore. "I'll leave when I'm ready."

She snorts as she sets down the basket she carries. I can smell the fresh-made breakfast beneath the cloth covering and my mouth waters. I'm distracted from the thought of breakfast, however, when she sits down on the stone floor across from me. _This is new…_ Normally she never stays to eat with me.

"You've said that every time I've asked," she notes with irritation, throwing off the cloth on the basket and pulling out a loaf of bread. She offers me half. I accept graciously, though there's some sort of meat, still warm, hidden in the basket that tempts me more.

"Shall we continue the routine?" She takes a bite of the bread. "Why are you here?"

Sighing in frustration I cram half the bread in my mouth so that my answer is sulky AND muffled. "I didn't know where I was, Porlyusica. I've already apologized a million times. Can we move on?"

The sulk wasn't nearly muffled enough, judging from the way she purses her lips. But she surprises me by nodding.

"This is the first time you've asked to move on. Fine. What is it that you want here?"

Groaning and rolling my eyes, I reach for the meat still sitting in the basket, tearing a chunk off. It's still hot and I bobble it in my hands a few times before I attempt popping it in my mouth. The juices run down my chin but I couldn't care less. It's been so long since I've had meat.

"What is it you desire?" she is staring hard at me and I suddenly feel uncomfortable. Not difficult, given that it's Porlyusica and now I'm nothing more than a….My brain skitters from that thought, too, and in my effort to distract myself, I answer honestly. "Revenge."

She nods again, the little moon-shaped fascinators in her hair bobbing slightly. "Is that all you desire?" She holds my gaze for a long moment, until, slightly panicked, I break the connection and focus on the small pool that fills one side of the cave. I haven't gone near it since I arrived here. Its reflective surface terrifies me.

"There's nothing else you want in this entire world? Nothing else that will make you feel complete?" She's pushing me, but I can't tear my eyes from the still surface of the pool. "Nothing that you cling to, nothing that can save you?"

Trance-like I rise and make my way to the side of the water, kneeling next to it and bending low, seeing my reflection for the first time since coming here. A monster stares up at me. The reflection is disturbed by the tears that have begun sliding down my face. "Nothing can save me now. No one will have me, not like this!" I sob, pushing myself away from the water's edge. I stumble, blinded by the tears, and find myself enveloped in strong arms. For the first time in nearly six months, I allow all the pain, the hatred, the anger, EVERYTHING, to pour out of me. Porlyusica holds me silently through the storm, allowing me cry myself out.

Finally, I subside into hiccupy sniffles. At some point I had collapsed to the ground and now my head is pillowed on Porlyusica's lap and she is gently running her fingers through my hair. Distantly I marvel at how kind she is being. "What will it take," she murmurs, "for you to leave my forest? What can save your soul?"

"Natsu," I whisper, half asleep. But as soon as his name leaves my lips my eyes open wide and I sit up suddenly. "Natsu."

Porlyusica stands and moves toward the basket, packing things up neatly before tying them into the cloth as a small bundle. "I am glad you have finally realized what is at stake, girl. While you mope here, the rest of the world moves on without you. It's high time you got on your way again." She considers me critically. "Nearly six months ago you were crawling through the forest, barely more alive than dead. Even after I healed your wounds you continued to brood. Now it is time for you to rejoin the living." She thrusts the bundle of food at me and begins pushing me toward the cave entrance.

I balk, digging in my heels, stopping us just outside the cave. "But, people…my _nakama_ …they'll despise me. I'm a monster, a beast from Hell!" I cry out. I turn to look at Porlyusica. "They will fear me. They will hate me. They'll turn me away…" My eyes drop to the bundle in my hands.

"Close your eyes, girl."

Glancing briefly up at my reluctant healer, I obey.

"Natsu," she whispers in my ear.

Just the sound of his name brings his image to mind. The unruly pink hair, the bright, welcoming smile, the carefree, accepting attitude. Can I even imagine a hateful look his face? Can I picture him turning me away, turning away from me, despising me? I shake my head and open my eyes, meeting Porlyusica's crimson stare. "You're right. Natsu is my best friend. He loves me no matter what." Suddenly, realization dawns. I've been gone for six months! "They must think I'm dead! Oh my God, what must they have gone through?"

Porlyusica's smile graces her face briefly at my words. "You've finally stopped sulking, girl. Good. Time to go. I've dealt with you long enough." She sweeps a cloak I had not previously noticed over my body and securing it at the neck, pulls the deep hood up to hide my face. As I turn to leave, however, she takes my face in both of her hands, looking deep into my eyes. "You know what you look like, girl. There will be ignorant people along the road who will fear and revile you. Keep to the shadows. Reveal yourself to no one but your _nakama_." She glances up at the early morning sky. The East Forest around us is still, a heavy mist hanging in the air. "Magnolia is preparing for the Fantasia parade. Perhaps you can slip into the town unnoticed in all the chaos. Travel well, girl. And try not to forget what I've taught you." This last is said with her typical frown, but she kisses my forehead before turning and fading away into the misty morning.

Taking a deep breath, I shoulder my little bundle of food, straighten my shoulders, and head off in the direction of my home, my steps getting a little lighter with every mile I travel. _I'm coming home_.


	4. Chapter 4 - Natsu

**A/N – I promise the angstfest won't last forever, guys! You shall laugh, you shall cry (maybe already did), you shall need a moment to yourself! (At least, I hope so!) As always, reviews are welcome! Also, sorry if this reads like an update guys. Realized that somehow the wrong version got uploaded. Minor changes only!**

" **Soundtrack" – "Hurt" by Johnny Cash**

* * *

 **Natsu**

It's been six months and I've still done nothing but sit in the guild hall or go on a mission just often enough to pay Lucy's rent and cover my own meager expenses. Everyone seems quieter, like the cheer has been sucked out of the place. Gramps has been trying to get us excited again, bringing up the Fantasia Parade and how everyone in Magnolia will turn out for it. He's even decreed that we will honor Lucy's memory with this parade. I can't even look at him.

I continue to rest my head on the table, ignoring the mild upswing in conversation as everyone starts discussing the upcoming parade. I want no parts of it.

"Nothing will be the same," I mutter to myself.

"Nothing is ever the same, no matter what," someone replies as they plant themselves on the bench next to me.

Barely glancing up, I realize Loke has sat down and is giving me a serious look.

"Natsu, you need to pull yourself together. You can't keep moping like this. It nearly killed all of us when we lost her that day, but you aren't doing yourself any favors by giving up on living. And you're certainly not repaying her."

That rouses me enough to offer him an icy glare. "Repaying her?"

"She threw herself in the way of that spell to save you, you giant asshole. And how do you repay that sacrifice? By giving up? Really? Now knock it off and help plan something for the parade." Loke moves to stand but stops when I reach out a hand and grab his arm.

"Are you sure?"

Sighing, he knew exactly what I meant. I'd asked him the same question every time I saw him since that day. "Our contracts with her were severed when the spell hit her, Natsu. She's gone." As he turns away I could see tears forming in the corner of his eye.

Resuming my moping, I let my thoughts wander. _Loke is right. She gave up everything for me so I could live as who I am. And here I am not even living…She loved the Fantasia Parade. Maybe if I make something really amazing, she'll see it up in heaven. She and her mother can see it from up there._ Smiling slightly for the first time in forever, I begin planning my Fantasia Parade contribution.

The day of the parade has arrived and everyone keeps telling me how amazing my display is. I'd created a flammable frame in the shape of a heart with Lucy's name in the center of it. Gray had even agreed to help me and would create an Ice Shell around the flame to show how our love for Lucy would always burn in our hearts, even when our hearts were frozen with the pain of losing her.

Inordinately pleased with myself, I set fire to the frame as we near the center of town and the crowd 'aahs' accordingly.

"Ice Make: Shell!" Gray calls out and immediately my fire is encased in his ice, the color of the flames muted but the facets of the ice intensifying the flickering effect. There's a short burst of applause from the crowd along the parade route before they fall silent, aware of the meaning behind our display. I can see tears on some of the crowd's faces, reminiscent smiles on other's. We all loved Lucy in our own way. I look up at the cloudless sky where millions of stars blink down on me. _Can you see it, Lucy? Can you see how much I still love you?_

The wind gusts slightly, rippling my hair and caressing my face. I tilt my head to the side and close my eyes, pretending that it's Lucy's hand. I can even smell the vanilla of her skin…

I open my eyes suddenly. Wait. I _can_ smell vanilla. But it's weird…it's got something else mixed in with it. I turn to Gray who is still staring up at the sky. "Gray, what's sweet but dark?"

He slowly lowers his eyes to look at me. "What the hell kind of question is that?"

I growl at him. "Just answer me. I smell something weird. It's sweet, but dark."

"Like dark chocolate?" the bewildered ice mage asks me.

 _Dark chocolate_. The answer clicks inside of me. Yeah, it's like dark chocolate and vanilla and tears and fire. Casting around for the origin of the scent, my eyes fall on a hooded figure at the fringe of the crowd. Even as I look at the figure it turns and makes its way down the nearby alley.

"Natsu, what-"

Heedless of Gray, I jump from the float and force my way through the crowd toward the retreating figure. As I break free from the press of bodies I look frantically about. Just when I'm sure the figure has disappeared, I see it hurrying down the alley, nearing the other end. "Hey, get back here!" I shout, sprinting after it. It stops and I can see the hood swivel back in my direction before turning and moving faster. "Oh, no you don't," I mutter to myself, putting on a burst of speed and tackling the figure to the ground.

Before I can even register any information on the figure I've pinned I find myself slammed into the wall of the nearby building, hard enough to make a dent in the foundation. Groaning, I slide to the ground, trying to get my bearings. The figure moves as though to attack me again, one hand reaching out, then apparently thinks better of it and turns to run once more.

I grab the outstretched hand and swing the figure against the building, earning a muffled grunt from the force of impact.

"Who the hell are you and why do you smell like Lucy but not Lucy?" I demand, shaking the figure by the shoulders. A flash of light from one of the parade floats illuminates the alley and, in the sudden brilliance I can just barely see inside the hood. What I see makes me stumble backwards into the other building, where I slump down against the bricks, not even registering when the figure takes off again.

"What was it, Natsu?!"

I look up to find I'm somehow back in the guild hall and the entire guild has me surrounded. "How did I…"

Gramps, who has been standing on the table in front of me, steps forward. "You were completely insensible when Gray found you, Natsu, so we brought you back here."

"We were really worried," Mira throws in. "You've been sitting and staring into space for nearly an hour!"

I jump up, appalled. "An hour!? She's getting away! We have to-"

Gramps just smacks me in the head with his staff. "Sit down. Who's getting away? Who did that to you?"

I shake my head. "I only caught a glimpse, but it has to be…"

"A glimpse of what?!" Gray grabs me by my shirt and shakes me.

"In the light from one of the floats, as you guys came around on the other street, I could see just a little bit inside the hood. I saw…I saw…"

"Well!?" The entire guild screams at me.

"One red eye… and a brown eye. And a lock of blond hair…"

Silence.

 _Has my Lucy come back to me?_


	5. Chapter 5 - Lucy

**A/N Hope you all like this chapter! R/R please!**

" **Soundtrack" – "Familiar Taste of Poison" by Halestorm**

* * *

 **Lucy**

Panting hard I continue my mad dash through Magnolia, heedless of the direction I'm moving. My only thought is to get away. _I'm not ready. Not yet. I thought I was but…_

Never had I expected to run into Natsu like that. I had only wanted to see the Fantasia parade, to remember the days where I had been part of that family and been part of the fun. But then, I saw that float…My name…the heart, the fire, the ice. It nearly broke me.

I'd been selfish to stay away for so long. My _nakama_ has been hurting, because of me.

I could feel the tears sliding unbidden down my cheeks and, as I'd moved to brush them away, a slight breeze stirred the ends of my cloak. When I'd looked up again at the float, Natsu was staring at me. Not in my direction. _At me_. I'd panicked and run.

Even now, as I wander through the town that was my home, I knew that was a bad idea. "Never run from a dragon, Lucy," I mutter to myself as I finally halt next to a bridge over the canal.

I had never expected (but should have known anyway) that Natsu would jump from the float and chase me. When he'd grabbed me from behind…

I sigh and tug my cloak tighter around my body, pretending that the shudder is from cold and not longing.

I hadn't even gotten to enjoy the feel of being in his arms again before my instinct kicked in and I shoved him off me. I had been horrified when I'd realized that my still-untested strength had smashed my best friend into the side of the building hard enough to leave a crater. I'd reached out for him, to offer him a hand up, but realized that doing so would expose the truth. _The truth I'm still not ready to admit_. So I'd turned to run again, but he'd caught me anyway, pinning me against the building in his place. I could hear his breathing hitch, hear the pace of his heartbeat quicken as he looked down into my hood. Serendipity cursed me by casting bright light over both of us. _Now he'll see, whether I want it or not_ , I had thought. And I was right. His eyes had widened, his breathing had stilled, his heart had stuttered. And he'd stumbled back. _Away_ from me. I couldn't stand the horror I knew he must have felt and I took off again, running aimlessly in an effort to lose myself and my best friend.

Looking around now, I realize that my aimless wandering wasn't very aimless. I'm standing right outside my old apartment. A sad smile teases my lips as I look up at the pink façade, memories of all the good times I've had their flooding my brain. With nowhere else to go, I shrug and climb up the front of the building, imagining momentarily that this must be how Natsu always felt when he came in through my open window. As I reach that open window, however, all thoughts vanish.

I climb slowly over the sill, stepping down onto my bed. _My_ bed. Scanning the room I am bewildered to see all of my belongings still exactly in place. My desk. My table. My fledgling novel. Everything is exactly where I left that day six months ago when we left to deal with Tartarus.

"How…" I can't wrap my head around the situation. My rent hasn't been paid since I left, but all of my things are still here. Nothing was moved. In a daze I make my way over to my dresser, pulling open one drawer after another to find all of my clothing still neatly folded… and CLEAN. As though someone has been washing things for me. When I get to the lingerie drawer, however, I find my answer. My panties and bras are a _mess_ , as though someone has been riffling through them. "Natsu," I growl under my breath, though a fond smile crosses my lips.

Closing the drawer, I make my way back to the bed where I plop myself down and lean on the window sill, looking out over the canal, much as I did on that day Natsu sent the Rainbow Sakura tree by for me to see. I let myself drift through memory, recalling all the good times I'd had with Fairy Tail. Porlyusica had convinced me I could return and reclaim those good times, but Natsu's reaction to seeing me… I know he has been dying slowly, waiting for me to come home, denying that I never will, but now that he's seen me… I have become certain that everyone will have the same reaction. Horror, disgust, fear. I am no longer Lucy, I am a monster sent to terrify small children and devour souls.

"This was a pointless waste," I mutter, my view of the canal wavering behind the tears I'm holding back. "It's better to just go. Let them continue to think I'm dead. Let them mourn my memory and move on, instead of forcing them to face _this_."

Burying my face in my arms, I let the tears seep out again, mourning this final loss. After some time, I pull myself together and crawl back out the window, heading for the roof. There, I perch, watching the moon rise slowly over the town that has come to be my home. The parade is long over and the town has wrapped itself up for bed, the silvered rooftops creating a dreamlike feel to everything. Wrapping my arms around my updrawn knees I gaze out through the darkness, trying to prepare myself.

 _I have to leave. There really is no other option anymore. I thought Natsu at least would still accept me, but even he_ … I can't finish the thought and instead I rest my chin on my knees and close my eyes, losing myself in the smell of the night air and smoke from a campfire nearby. Inhaling deeply, I can also detect the smell of cinnamon, one of my favorite smells. It reminds me of Natsu. Immediately I feel the tears start to form again and I angrily brush them away.

"I'm tired of crying," I whisper to myself. "It's time to let this go." Forcing myself to stand, I look out over the town once more, turning in a slow circle, memorizing the panorama. When my eyes fall upon Fairy Tail, however, my resolve wavers and I know I can't leave without being in that building one more time. I'm certain that, by now, everyone has gone to bed and the guild will be empty. With a deep breath I begin to leap lightly from rooftop to rooftop, surprised at the agility this new body has. _Maybe I can find some good somewhere after all…_

I emerge from the shadow of a nearby building, my eyes warily upon Fairy Tail's front door. Everything seems quiet; most of the lights are burning low. Dawn isn't too far off; I can smell it in the air. I tiptoe over to the door and quietly push it open, trying to pretend that the slight squeal of the hinges hasn't woken everyone in Magnolia. As I slip through the small opening I slide the door shut behind me and rest my back against the heavy wood, taking a moment to take in my surroundings. The air smells exactly like I remember, but now I can smell it more clearly. Beer, sweat, tears. I can almost feel the joy and anger soaked into the wooden tables from the countless fights and feasts that we've had. My gaze falls upon the bar where Mirajane usually stands. Now it's empty. I miss my friend.

Sniffling, I realize that my earlier assumption was wrong; the bar isn't empty. A large, old looking book sits open on the bartop, a candle burning low next to it, barely illuminating the handwritten script filling the pages. Unable to curb my curiosity, especially when it comes to books, I move closer, moving stealthily despite the obvious fact that the guild is deserted. No amount of caution can stop the gasp that escapes my lips when I look down at the pages.

Someone had created a detailed picture of Natsu. But not _my_ Natsu, not the lovable goofball we all know. This is Natsu as he would have been had I not pushed him out of the way of that spell. This is a picture of E.N.D. Heavy horns protrude upward from his unruly pink hair, black tattooing in the shape of flames crawls up the right side of his body, large red tinted, leathery wings protrude from his back while a long red tail seems to whip around his feet in agitation. His hands are not hands, but wicked looking claws and in various spots his skin has become red scales, much like in his Dragon Force stage. I trace a finger along the face in the picture, mesmerized.

"Do you find him handsome?"

"KYAAAA!" I jump backward, startled at the voice so close to my ear. As my eyes light upon the shadow on the bar next to the book, the figure steps forward, revealing itself to be Master Makarov.

"M-Master! What are you doing here this late? No one was supposed to be here!" I rub my hand over my chest, trying to soothe my heart back into a normal rhythm.

"I've been waiting for you, my girl. We've all been waiting for you."

I glance around, half expecting other shadows to materialize into the shapes of my friends. The guild remains empty. I look back at Master who waves his hand dismissively.

"Not at this moment, of course. I sent those brats home hours ago. But they've been waiting for you, nonetheless, all these months. Now, come back over here and answer my question."

I move back towards the bar, my eyes once again falling on the open book.

"Do you find him handsome?"

I meet Master's eye. "Well, it's Natsu… so…"

I quake slightly at the glare he focuses on me. "No he's not, and stop dancing around the question, dammit. You know damn well that this is E.N.D., the king of the demons, the monster that would have walked this earth had it not been for you that day. We would all be in graves by this point if you hadn't done what you did."

I drop my gaze, unable to continue meeting his. "I only did what I did-"

"You did what you did because you are a true Fairy Tail wizard, Lucy. You knew what was at stake but rather than see your family hurt, you threw yourself in harm's way. We've all done that same thing many, many times, but none of us have been asked to make the sacrifice you have. The depth of our gratitude to you will never be able to fully be conveyed. We owe you everything we are and everything we have."

And he bows to me.

Master Makarov, the man who has been more a father to me than my real father ever was, the man I respect more than anyone else in this world, bows to me.

"No, Master, please don't. I-I don't deserve your respect. I'm nothing but a mons-eep!" I cut off as Master begins to expand in size, using his Titan magic until he towers over me, his rage plain to see.

"You will stop using that word in my presence, Lucy. You are NOT a monster!" he roars at me before shrinking back to his normal size and seating himself on the bartop next to the book. "You are a Fairy Tail wizard, my girl. We're all monsters, in our own way, though we never consider ourselves such." He reaches out and catches my right hand, holding it up for both of us to see. My Fairy Tail mark is clearly visible even in the low candlelight. "This mark is only a physical expression of what has always been true in your soul: you belong here, with us."

I can feel my lower lip trembling and, for what must be the fifth time in two days I break down sobbing, burying my head in my arms right on top of the book.

"WAAUGH NOT ON THE BOOK! WE DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER COPIES!" Master reaches under me and yanks the book away, letting my head thwack unceremoniously off the bartop. Startled, I can't help but let a watery chuckle escape, ruefully rubbing the bump on my forehead.

Master also chuckles, setting the book open in his lap. "Tomorrow I'm going to have to tell the rest of the brats the truth, my girl. Even if I wanted to let you leave our resident dragon slayers will know immediately that someone has been here and Natsu already suspects that it's you. Besides, don't you think they deserve to know the truth by now?" He looks over at me expectantly.

I nod. "But Master, what if they hate me now, because of what I am?"

Master sighs heavily. "I guess it was too much to hope you'd just take my words to heart immediately. You'll just have to wait and see the truth for yourself. I wish you would have more faith in your _nakama_ , my girl." Standing, Master closes the book and sets it aside on the bartop. "You are more than welcome to stay in the infirmary tonight as it will probably make things easier in the morning once I tell everyone the good news." He hops off the bartop and begins to make his way up to his office on the upper floor.

As he nears the top of the steps, I can't refrain from calling out. "Master?"

He stops and looks back down at me.

I inhale deeply before continuing. "Yes. I do."

"Do what, my girl?"

"Find E.N.D. handsome. He looks… kingly, some how."

Master Makarov nods. "So you would have found Natsu handsome, no matter what the end result?"

"Yes."

"I'd like you to think on that tonight, Lucy. Is what's true for you not also likely true for Natsu?"

Taken aback, I can only stare at his retreating form as he calls out a goodnight and disappears onto the upper floors. As I settle myself into one of the infirmary beds, Master's words and my thoughts chase through my mind in an endless round of tag. _I'm a monster. Is what's true for you not also likely true for Natsu? I'm a beast from hell. So you would have found Natsu handsome, no matter what the end result? I deserve nothing. Have more faith in your_ nakama _._

These thoughts follow me into a fitful, uneasy sleep.

* * *

 **A/N - I'm terribly sorry this took so long to put up, all! My grad class started on Wednesday and I still have to administer finals, so things have gotten a little hectic! I should still be able to upload at least once a week, but I try to stay about two chapters ahead of what's published so the time period may be longer than a few days between uploads. Again, apologies!**


	6. Chapter 6 - Natsu

**A/N – It's time for the big reveal! I hope I do justice to all of your expectations! R/R please? Also, we have a little more angst to get through before we hit some good stuff. Hang in there!**

" **Soundtrack" – "Angel" by Theory of a Deadman**

* * *

 **Natsu**

I let the endless babble wash over me.

" _It couldn't possibly be…"_

" _A red eye?"_

" _She's been gone for…"_

" _The poor kid's lost it…"_

None of it means anything. I know what I saw. I saw _my_ Lucy. She may look different but I know that was her. But underneath that certainty is another thought, one I'm trying hard to ignore: why did she run from me?

Why hasn't she come here, to Fairy Tail? Why hasn't she gone to her apartment? Why won't she come home?

Unable to stand anymore, I shove the bench back and storm out of the guild, heading for Lucy's apartment. I need to surround myself in her scent. Maybe that will help clear my mind.

As I turn onto her street, however, all I can smell is dark chocolate, vanilla and fire. _She's been here_. Hoping against hope I dash toward her apartment and climb up to the open window. As I climb through, however, it's clear to me that she's gone. _Again_.

Cursing, I storm around the room, my hands gripping my hair hard enough to bring tears to my eyes.

"Why aren't you coming home, Luce?" I mutter before flopping down onto the bed. The smell is strongest here and I can even smell the tears she shed. I fold my arms on the windowsill, propping my head on them and staring out into the night. I'm not sure at what point I fall asleep, drowning in the new smell of Lucy, but I wake when the rising sun washes over my face. Stretching, I grab a quick shower and head for the guild, determined to wring some answers from somebody.

* * *

I am surprised to see the guild full of people so early in the morning. Bixlow and Lisanna are sitting with Laxus and Freed and, as I close the door behind me, Mirajane moves from behind the bar to sit between them. Elfman and Evergreen are standing next to the table, arguing as always. Reedus, Macao, Wakaba, and Warren sit together at another table, huddled close together and whispering about something even my hearing can't pick up. A table near the back is taken by Jet, Droy, Levy, Gajeel and Pantherlily. Gajeel and Levy are standing almost nose to nose, leaning over the table, yelling at each other. I catch "Listen, Shrimp! We're not doing it, I don't care what anyone says! It's too dangerous!" as I scan across the room.

At a table near the bar I see my _nakama_ ; Gray, Juvia, Erza, Wendy and Carla…and that fucking empty seat. Growling under my breath I make my way over to them and plant myself next to Gray. The empty seat across from me stares me down and I shift inward, turning my face away from it.

 _Why isn't she here?_

"What's going on? Why is everyone here so early?" I ask, planting a fist on the table. "Did someone announce something without telling me?"

Gray smirks. "After you left last night, Gramps said he wanted us all here just after sunrise 'cuz he wanted to discuss something important. Dunno what."

"Why the hell didn't he say something before I left, then?" I shout, leaping to my feet.

"I don't know, Natsu, but I'm glad to see some of your old fight back. Gray. Shirt." Erza calmly takes a bite of the strawberry cake on the plate in front of her while Gray scrambles around looking for his shirt and Juvia gets a random nosebleed.

"I can't take this shit. We're all just going to sit here while Lucy is-"

"Lucy is what?" a voice calls from the front. We all stop talking as we see Master Makarov plant himself on the bar next to a large, old-looking book.

"I'm telling you , Gramps!" I shout from my table. "I'm telling you, I SAW her! That was HER at the parade last night! We need to be finding her!"

"What if she doesn't want to be found?" he asks softly, staring me down as he thumbs through the pages of the book.

"Of course she wants to be found! She wants to come home…doesn't she?" I look around the guild and notice no one is chiming in. _Could she not want to be part of Fairy Tail anymore? Could she no longer love me?_

My thoughts are interrupted by Gramps again. "I asked you all to come in because I have a story to tell you, one that is important for you to pay attention to." He opens the book and we all lean forward, trying to see what's on the page.

"Holy fuck, is that me!?" I jump onto the table and dash toward Gramps, stopping short when the scarf around my neck pulls tight, effectively clotheslining me and sending me to the floor. I look back to see Erza has a handful of fabric. "What the hell, Erza!" I demand, jumping up again.

"Sit down and shut up, Natsu."

"Yes ma'am." I plant myself right on the floor, terrified of the malevolent glare in those brown eyes. _Funny how I never noticed, but her eyes are the same color as Lucy's…_

"Now that we're finished acting like the brats we are, let me explain." Gramps points to the picture on the page. "This is an image of Etherious Natsu Dragneel, E.N.D. He's the demon lord Zeref was attempting to summon the day Lucy threw herself in front of the spell and took the hit for Natsu."

I cringe and would jump up again but I can feel Erza's eyes burning into the back of my skull.

"The spell was meant to merge the demon soul of E.N.D. with Natsu who was meant to be the host body. The two are actually one, two parts of a whole. Lucy interrupting the spell means that she would have taken this half into herself and gained the powers of that soul for herself. The process would have been unbearably painful, as she would have been merging with something that was not meant for her. She may have died from it, being too weak to complete the merging process."

At this, I cannot stop myself and leap to my feet, pointing a finger accusingly at Gramps. "No way! My Lucy is the strongest person I know! She'd never let a little thing like merging with a demon soul destroy her!"

I suddenly find myself squashed flat against the floor, an enormous fist crushing down on me as if I were a bug. Gramps reels his arm back in while I remain prone on the ground, in too much pain to sit up.

"As I was saying," he continues, "if she managed to survive the merging process, it could be expected that Lucy would take on both the physical and magical properties of E.N.D., becoming part demon herself. There's no way of knowing to what extent the merging would affect her personality without asking her." Gramps pauses and looks at me. "So I'll ask. Has it affected your personality, my girl?"

For a frozen second everyone stares blankly at Gramps, failing to comprehend his words. As realization sinks in, however, we seem to draw a collective breath.

"Wha-" Erza begins, but is interrupted by a small voice responding, "Yes, it did, Master."

Benches scrape and mugs are knocked to the floor as everyone jumps to their feet, their attention on the hooded and cloaked figure that seems to have just become visible at the foot of the stairs up to the infirmary. Blinking, I realize that I've been continuously smelling that dark chocolate/vanilla/fire mix not because of spending the night at Lucy's but because _she's_ here.

"Did you get some rest, my girl?" Gramps asks, obviously not shocked at all.

"I did, Master. Thank you," the figure responds.

"We've been over this before, girl, but I'll say it again. You've chosen to come home. Now make yourself comfortable," he growls at her, then adds, with a sympathetic tone in his voice, "get it all over with at once."

The figure flinches, then I can see shoulders straighten before the hands reach up and undo the clasp at the neck of the cloak. For a moment the hood holds the cloak on and closed before the hands reach up again and push the hood back and off, letting the cloak pool on the floor.

This time there is no ignoring the silence that descends upon all of us. Delicate, feminine horns sweep up above her beautiful blond hair, though I fleetingly notice the thick pink streaks laced through the honey color`. The one brown eye and one red eye are both fixated on the floor, determinedly not meeting anyone's gaze. I can see a hint of fangs as she chews nervously on her plump lower lip. The wings….

Holy fuck, her wings. They rise up above her shoulders, a pink close to the color of my hair, the leathery skin between the wing joints a pearlescent gold. A draconic tail as feminine as the horns but the same color as the wings lashes anxiously around her ankles. And on the left side of her body… Where E.N.D. had black flame-like markings up the right side, her markings are more reminiscent of the embers released from a bonfire, the kind that drift up to the sky before winking out. Like that, they drift up the left side of her body, twining up her long leg, hiding beneath the short black skirt, appearing for a moment in the space between skirt and pink tank top before disappearing again until her cleavage rises above the neckline, continuing to trail upwards until finally vanishing just beneath that red eye.

My Lucy has become a female version of E.N.D. and she stands here before me, a great and terrible goddess. I want to worship at her feet.

I scramble upright, intent on having her in my arms again, but before I can even step forward a blue bullet streaks past me and barrels into Lucy, burying itself in her chest.

"LUUUUUCCCCCCYYYY!" Happy wails from where he's buried in her cleavage. Instinctively she wraps her arms around him.

"Ha-Happy?" She stares down at him and he sobs into her chest.

"Everyone said you were dead but Natsu and I kept looking and now you're here and you have wings and we can go flying together and I can carry Natsu and we can catch flying fish and it will be so much fun and we'll go on awesome jobs together and- " Happy pauses to draw a breath but Lucy interrupts him before he can resume his tirade.

"You…you're not afraid of me?"

He looks up at her, his eyes wide. "No more than I ever was. You don't seem any meaner than before."

With that, Lucy collapses to the floor, tears running down her cheeks as she buries her face in Happy's fur. Suddenly the entire guild crashes in upon them, burying them in shouts of joy and crushing hugs. I have missed my chance and am stuck on the outside of the mass of bodies.

"Happy got your tongue, Natsu?" Gramps asks as he jumps off the bar and moves to stand next to me.

"I-I don't know what to say to her," I croak, surprising myself. "I thought for sure when she came back everything would fall into place, but…"

"But?" Gramps prompts, watching the chaos of the homecoming as Cana grabs a barrel of beer and slams it down on the floor in front of Lucy, demanding that she drink to celebrate her homecoming.

"But she's so much _more_ now. She's so far out of my reach…What can I even say to her?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Gramps says as he pushes me forward through the path that has miraculously parted in the sea of people surrounding my Lucy. I stumble forward and slam into Lucy who instinctively wraps her arms around me to steady me.

We stare at each other for a moment as if memorizing each other's faces all over again. Her lips part and she forms my name, "Natsu," as if in disbelief.

I pull her against me, resting my cheek against her hair. "Thank you," I whisper.

"For what?" she asks from where she's buried against my chest.

"For coming back to me," I reply and she hugs me tighter.

Neither of us let go as the rest of Fairy Tail crowds in around us adding to the hug.

 _Thank you for my life,_ I add silently in my head, pressing my lips to her hair and ignoring the tears sliding down my face.

"Okaeri," I murmur against her hair.

"Tadaima," she responds, pulling away to meet my eyes, love and gratitude shining up at me.

* * *

 **A/N – Okaeri means Welcome home and Tadaima means I'm home (at least, according to Google *flinches*). Also, GAH! I'm out of chapters! I just have to get through finals and I'll be able to type more! Please forgive me, all! I promise to get another chapter up as soon as can be! Til then, 'ta!**


	7. Chapter 7 - Gray and Natsu

**A/N – For being so patient with me as the school year wrapped up, I present all of you with a double chapter! Hopefully, this will clear up a few of the questions that I've received through reviews (please create an account so I can private message you answers instead of having to wait until I can update again! Such sad!) Anyway, a guest addressed two issues: Lucy's seeming lack of personality change and Natsu's lack of addressing the "two parts of one whole" comment. My response would have been "Patience, young padawan!" but I can at least say I've addressed the second critique in this chapter! The first critique, well….there's a long road ahead in this story and, don't forget, E.N.D. has been sealed inside Lucy…for the moment. *devilish grin* Now, away we go! Don't forget to R/R! I really hope you like this double chapter and look for Lucy's story in the next one, coming soon!**

" **Soundtrack" – "Halo" by Starset**

* * *

 **Gray**

The impromptu welcome home party for Lucy is in full swing. Cana is swiftly killing her third keg, Macao and Wakaba are already mostly drunk, Reedus is painting a picture of Lucy as she sits and talks to Wendy, Levy and Gajeel as Natsu hovers over her possessively, and Gramps is sitting on the bar with Mira keeping his mug of beer full as he waxes poetic about having all of his brats home. _Yep, things are really back to normal_.

As I look at Lucy, however, I amend that thought. _Almost_. I can see the sadness lurking in the back of her eyes even as she smiles at something Charle says to Happy, sending the blue Exceed into tears before he buries his face in Lucy's chest. Again. So much normal and so much not.

"Gray? Shirt," Erza says nonchalantly as she passes me, two plates of strawberry cake slices in her hands. She places one plate in front of Lucy and settles herself at the other while I scramble to find my shirt and pull it back over my head before leaning back against a column, watching my _nakama_. I can feel Juvia lurking somewhere behind me, but for the moment, I ignore her. I know my girlfriend will be beyond pissed if she figures that out but, for just this moment, I want to enjoy having my family complete again. Losing Lucy that day…

"But what's the cost of getting her back?" I mutter to myself, resting my head back against the solid wood behind me and closing my eyes. _She claims that her personality has changed but I haven't noticed anything. And then there's the fact that she's containing_ _ **half**_ _of a soul meant for Natsu. What effect will that have on her?_

"Knowing our luck, Lucy will start turning into Flamebrain, too" I snicker to myself.

"I don't think Fiori can handle a second Natsu," a musical voice replies and I open my eyes to find the object of my musings before me, the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows behind her and turning her golden hair into a halo, adding a mystical shimmer to the wings which arch delicately above her shoulders. "Jewel for your thoughts," she smiles, hands clasped behind her back as she leans forward, looking up at me with a mischievous light in her brown eyes.

I can't stop my answering smile. "It's nothing. I'm just glad you're back. I've-" I bite my lip, stopping myself.

Lucy's face turns serious and I catch a glimpse of tears before I'm suddenly wrapped tightly in her arms. I can feel her body pressing against my chest-wait… "Where the hell did my shirt go!?"

A watery chuckle huffs from between Lucy's lips as she turns her face up to mine, still holding me tight. "I missed you too, Gray. I'm sorry I stayed away so long. I never meant to hurt any of you like that." With that she buries her face in my naked chest. I hear a strangled sob from somewhere behind me and a hissed "Love rival!" but I wrap my arms around the woman who has been the little sister I never had and rest my chin on her head, feeling her horns scrape against my cheeks. _The same but so different_.

"Hey, Mira! Where did Gramps go? I wanted to ask him about that crap he was spouting earlier!" Natsu's voice rises above the general babble as Lucy and I stand there, wrapped in our own welcoming party.

"He went up to his office; I think he had a visitor," Mira replies as she moves from behind the bar to sit with the Raijinshu, where the two younger Strauss siblings were already sitting comfortably. That was one of the only good things to come out of Lucy's loss that day: people began realizing that life was too short to waste on uncertainty and embarrassment. I smile to myself as Mira wraps an arm around Laxus' waist and rests her head on his shoulder while Elfman smiles stupidly at Evergreen and Lisanna begins yelling at something dumb Bixlow said or did.

"I'll be right back, ok, Luce? Don't go anywhere," Natsu yells as he takes off for the upper floors.

Lucy snickers against my chest but we continue to embrace, both of us taking comfort in the other's continued existence.

"Lucy, that day…I nearly died, too. When I realized that you were gone…I realized that I hadn't been able to protect you…I gave up. I wanted to go where you went…" I squeeze her tighter, ignoring the muffled grunt as her face was mushed against my chest.

"Oh Gray-sama!" I can almost feel the tears running down Juvia's face.

"BffhffwuffufflfffJfffbehff?" comes her muffled response.

Laughing, I release her just enough that she can speak clearly. "What? I didn't catch all of that?"

"How can Gray-sama leave Juvia for love rival so publically? Juvia cannot live without Gray-sama!"

"I asked, how would you leave Juvia behind like that?" Lucy replies and, never turning her head from where it was buried against my chest, she flings out an arm, catching hold of the sobbing water mage and dragging her into the middle of our embrace, sandwiching her between the two of us. "There, now you can hug both of the women who hold your heart, Gray," Lucy smiles as she rests her chin on Juvia's shoulder, her head tilted to press against the bluenette's hair and Juvia's face pressed against my chest.

I can hear Juvia's breathing hitch as my arms tighten around both of them and her arms hesitantly slide around my waist before squeezing tightly enough for the air to whoosh out of my lungs. Lucy chuckles again, wrapping one arm around Juvia's waist and another around my, her finger's twining with Juvia's against the skin of my back.

"I'm glad that even in the face of everything, you two found each other," Lucy says softly, smiling up at me. "I'm happy for everyone. The last thing I have ever wanted in this world is for my _nakama_ to suffer because of me. I'm glad something good came out of it."

I slide one hand from around Lucy and settle it on Juvia's waist, sliding my hand down to cup her hip. I can feel the gasp against my skin and can practically hear her chanting _Remain solid, remain solid, Juvia will not melt!_ Chuckling, I rest my head on the bluenette's hair, enjoying the smell of rain that rises from the top of her head. We stand in silent communion with one another for a long time, just the three of us, until a loud crash makes us all jerk. The screeching that follows explains everything.

"Listen, old man! I still don't need anyone hangin' around tellin' me what to do! I'm old enough to figure out my own shit!"

Gildarts pushes the keg Cana had thrown at him off himself and climbs to his feet, tears streaming down his face. "I just want to make sure my baby girl is taken care of when I'm gone! Is that too much to ask?" he sobs.

Cana's lower lip trembles just a bit, but Gildarts apparently notices and takes this for consent as he lunges across the floor and wraps Cana in his arms, lifting her off the ground and squeezing her in a back-breaking hug.

"Family is manly!" Elfman cries out and everyone laughs, including Cana and Gildarts. As he sets her down again she punches him in the shoulder before offering to share another keg of beer with him.

Lucy, Juvia and I all share a look and chuckle as Lucy steps back from the hug, leaving me holding Juvia. "There, that is a much better picture," she says, a smile on her face as she turns away. But as she turns I catch the sheen of tears in her brown eyes again. I reach out a hand, my other arm still wrapped around Juvia, and grab hold of her wrist, bringing her to a halt.

"Lucy."

She stops, her gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

"Lucy, we're your family, you can tell us anything." A hush has fallen around us and I know the entire guild is listening.

She takes a deep breath, her wings lifting slightly with the motion, before she looks back at me. Juvia has stepped back from my chest, though her arm is still around my back and mine is still draped over her shoulder. "Lucy-san does not need to bear her weight alone. Juvia will carry what she can."

"Me too, Lucy," I add.

"We can all share your burden, Lu-chan."

"Shrimp is right. That's the point of this guild, right? That none of us have to bear our pain alone."

"Sharing burdens is manly!"

Lucy chuckles, a watery huff of laughter. She finally looks up, her tear-filled gaze sweeping around at the people who love her as much as she loves them.

"You're right. And, I guess you deserve to know where I've been, after I've made you suffer for so long." Slowly she makes her way over to a table near a column, sitting on the bench so she can rest her back against the solid wood, her wings drooping until the tips trailed to the floor.

Taking a deep breath, she begins.

* * *

 **Natsu**

"I'll be right back, Luce! Don't go anywhere," I yell as I take off up the stairs heading for Gramps' office. I want to give Lucy a chance to be with all of our friends before I wrap her up and never let her leave my side again. But first, there is no way I was letting that comment Gramps made about E.N.D. and me being "two halves of a whole" go. I need to find out what the hell he meant.

As I reach his office, I am surprised to find the door open. Usually if he has a visitor he closes it. As I move closer, however, I recognize the scent of the visitor at the same time as I hear her voice. Dark forest and deep earth. Porlyusica.

"How much did you tell them?" Her voice is clipped as usual, but there was a hint of something else laced through it.

"Only what we agreed on. They don't need to know anything else unless Lucy chooses to tell them. I didn't want to burden Natsu right now."

She _humphs_ softly. "She can never use magic again."

My mouth drops open.

"She knows that?"

"Yes. I've made her aware. I could barely seal away the demon when she first came to me, and they were both incredibly weak. I shudder to think what might happen if that _thing_ breaks free again now that she's fully healed. And using that _thing's_ magic will do exactly that, waken it. She also knows to never let anyone come in contact with her blood. It will allow the demon soul to migrate to that person. Under no circumstances can we let that monster loose."

"Was it bad?"

The old bat grunts and I can hear her long cape swish as she must be moving around the room.

"I had gone out to check on some herbs growing a bit further into the Woods when I came upon her. She was dragging herself along the forest floor, covered in mud and sticks, cuts and bruises. As I moved toward her she reached out to me, but when I caught sight of those mismatched eyes, I stopped. Then she spoke, and… _I could hear BOTH of them_. Two overlapping voices said "Help me." I don't know if she was aware of the other soul inhabiting her body but as I moved closer, she hissed at me and tried to scuttle backwards. I could see that her brown eye had begun turning red and the markings on her body had begun to change. Her hands had begun turning into claws, her fangs lengthened. I did the only thing I could think of; I knocked her out. While she was out I placed the seal and when she woke up I told her what had happened and what she could and could not do. But, Makarov, hearing those two voices laced together like that, watching E.N.D. take over her body, I can honestly say I've never been more terrified in my life."

I stumble backwards until I hit the railing, trying to process what I have heard. I am so lost in thought that I miss part of what Gramps says until I hear my name.

"….told Natsu about Zeref creating E.N.D."

"No. It's good that you didn't tell him. The boy has been put through enough with Lucy's situation. Knowing that he and Zeref are brothers…I don't know what that might do to him. Besides, Zeref hasn't made any moves since he took Lucy, has he?"

"No, we haven't heard a peep - what was that?"

I can hear Gramps head for the door to check what the noise was but I am already gone, racing back down the stairs. As I reach the bottom, I step into a nearby storage closet, needing to process everything I've heard.

 _I'm Zeref's BROTHER? And he CREATED E.N.D.? Why? Why would he create a demon soul to kill me or control me? Who does that to their family like that?_

My brain pauses on that word. Family. Zeref, the darkest mage out there, is my family. _He's my brother. He's evil and he's my brother. That means I'm evil, too. Is that why he created E.N.D.? To make me more evil? Or was E.N.D. my evil side? Maybe that's what Gramps meant by "two halves of a whole." Maybe my real parents were evil, too. Maybe my entire family line is nothing but murdering monsters. Maybe…_

My thoughts are cut off as a loud burst of laughter and Cana's screams waft through the guild. Listening closely, I can pick out each individual heartbeat. One, however, captures my attention. Rolling my shoulders, I step out of the storage closet and head for the rest of Fairy Tail.

"This is my family," I whisper to myself as I walk. "These are the people I love and trust." I stop at the entrance to the main room, taking in the chaos occurring. "I don't care if Zeref is my fairy fucking godmother. He may be my brother by blood but these are the people in my heart and soul. This is my _real_ family."

The sudden silence pulls me from my thoughts. Lucy's eyes are shadowed and I can see her wings trembling slightly as her shoulders shake.

"Sharing burdens is manly!" Elfman calls out and Lucy chuckles through her tears.

"You're right," she says. "And, I guess you deserve to know where I've been, after I've made you suffer for so long." Slowly she makes her way over to a table near a column, sitting on the bench so she can rest her back against the solid wood, her wings drooping until the tips trailed to the floor.

She takes a deep breath. "As the spell hit me…"

* * *

 **A/N – I decided to create a YouTube playlist of all the soundtrack for this story! The link is in my profile!**


	8. Chapter 8 - Lucy

**A/N – Gomen! I'm so late with this chapter, I know! So much came up and then—THEN I sat and stared at a blank doc for, like, EVER. I'm still not sure if I like how this chapter turned out. But what do you guys think? R/R! Also, beware, this chapter is dark and full of _trigger warnings_. Oh, and I still don't own Fairy Tail. **

" **Soundtrack" – "Violate" by Bones Domingo**

* * *

 **Lucy**

 _As the spell hit me, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. There was this terrible pressure squeezing down on me. I lay, gasping, on the ground, blinded. Whether it was the darkness of the spell or the lack of oxygen, I have no idea, but my eyes were open and I couldn't see anything. As I lay there I became aware of something coiling around me, starting at me feet and sliding its way up my body. Something brushed against my lips and I gasped, but this just gave the monster entrance._

I pause, pulling my knees up against my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs, trying to anchor myself against this next part.

 _I felt as though a long tentacle were being slowly forced down my throat. I couldn't breathe, couldn't gag, couldn't stop it. There was nothing to grab, no physical_ _ **thing**_ _to catch hold of. After an eternity the feeling stopped. That's when the pain started. I was being ripped in two. Or maybe pushed in two is more accurate. The thing inside me seemed to be pushing outward, trying to split me apart. I must have screamed because later my throat was raw. At the time, though, all I was aware of was the pain and the inability to move. Finally, I blacked out._

Natsu comes and settles himself behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back against the warmth and strength of his chest. He tucks one leg under my bent knees and frames the other around them. I am surrounded by him. It's his way of protecting me, I guess. Sighing as I lean back against him, my wings hanging down over him like a blanket, I continue.

" _When I opened my eyes again, I was in total darkness. There was literally nothing visible. I tried to move and found myself bound down, wrists up near my head. Later I found it was a stone table. But at the moment all I knew was total panic. I threw myself against whatever held me down, twisting and turning and screaming hoarsely. At some point I dislocated a shoulder. It was in that moment that he spoke._

" _You've caused me a lot of grief," he told me. "That soul was meant for…"_

I trail off, realizing I'm about to betray Porlyusica's instructions. Natsu squeezes me around the middle and lightly rubs his nose against my ear, whispering so softly I don't think anyone else can hear, "I know. Skip it."

Nodding, I do.

" _That soul was meant for someone else, not you. This leaves me with two choices." He must have leaned in at this point because I could feel his breath against my cheek. "Kill you or force it out of you," he continued. I could almost feel him step back and begin circling the table. "Killing you would, of course, be easiest. However, it runs the risk of damaging the soul or worse, letting it escape completely. Forcing it out of you will take_ much _more effort…but it might be more entertaining for me." He grabbed my wrist and squeezed hard enough to grind the bones against each other. "So, shall we begin?"_

 _Suddenly his touch was gone and the unbearable pressure had returned. A half-light had filled the room and I could make out four magic seals surrounding me; one above my head, one at my feet and one on either side of me. As they began to glow brighter they created a fifth one that hovered directly above me. The four seals around me were the cause of the pressure, but it was that fifth one that-_

I cut off abruptly, shuddering in Natsu's arms as I force myself to recall these memories. Levy, who has moved to sit by my feet, places her hand on my knee.

"Lu-chan."

She utters just that one word, but I can feel the resolve flowing through me once more. I nod, refusing to carry this burden alone any longer.

 _The fifth one seemed to act like a lacrima, showing me images. I was never sure if the images were reality or dredged from my subconscious, but they were real enough. The first scene replayed my mom and dad's deaths. I watched my mother fade slowly and my father wither under the uncertainty of my demise. I watched it play out again and again and again. I have no idea how long. Then Zeref was back._

" _I have to give you credit, you're a lot stronger than I expected. I was certain that would break you."_

" _Why?" I had croaked at him. Between the screaming earlier and the crying now, my voice was all but gone._

" _Because once I've broken you I can easily slip in and pull E.N.D's soul back out. Well, let's try something else, shall we?"_

 _This time was worse. I watched as Jellal killed Erza. One time he snuck up behind her and slid a knife into her without her even realizing it. Another time he held her close, even kissed her, as he pushed the dagger upwards into her heart. Once he even killed her in her sleep, snapping her neck before leaning in to kiss her on the lips. I couldn't-I couldn't-_

Erza, who has moved to sit on the floor next to me, rises on her knees and wraps her arms around me, pulling me tightly against her chest. When my head clangs off her armor however, she apologizes, blushing and releases me.

"Hard," I mutter, rubbing my head, but I smile tightly up at her.

"Lucy, I'm sorry-"

"No, Erza. There's nothing to be sorry about. Zeref used these images because he knew how it would affect me. He knew how much I love all of you. That's what I'm trying to take from this; his choices were a testament to the love I bear all of you."

I can see the tears in her eyes as she sinks back to the floor, resting her head against Natsu's leg. Absently, I take a strand of her hair and begin twirling it as I gather myself for the next part.

 _The next time it was Gray and Juvia. I had to watch Gray nearly tear Juvia apart, stab her repeatedly, freeze various body parts and break them off._

I shudder again.

 _Then it was Wendy. I never saw who her attacker was but she would be laying at the bottom of the guild stairs, her head twisted at a weird angle, her eyes staring up at me in horror. That one just repeated endlessly._

 _Then it was Gajeel and Levy. Instead of him welding her wrists to the tree that day I had to watch him impale her with an iron spike, the blood running down her stomach as the light slowly left her eyes and he stood at her feet and laughed. Or it was her that he beat up in Phantom Lord's headquarters and she died every time._

 _I was almost numb by this point. I had cried and screamed and thrashed so much that I could barely move. I was sure I was broken enough for him. But, no._

" _I can see the cracks forming, you know. All your lovely light is shining out through them. But they're not big enough. I need them to be a little wider. So let's try something new."_

 _I still don't know if they were real or not, but I could feel hands on my skin. Hands pinching me. Hands sliding along me. Hands ripping at my clothing. Real or not, they stripped me. The beat me. They r-raped me…_

Here I cannot continue. The tears slide down my face as I sit here, forcing myself to relive the horrors of that cave. I can feel Natsu's grip tighten around me, hard enough almost to bruise. Levy has latched onto one of my legs and is crying against it. Erza has her face buried against Natsu, her hands fisted in her hair as she sobs. Juvia, who has moved to sit on the table to my left, reaches out and takes my hand, twining her fingers through mine. Gray places his over top and twines his fingers with both of ours. The rest of the guild draws closer.

"Bunny girl, you can stop. You don't need to-"

"No," I cut Gajeel off. He hovers over Levy, not physically touching her but guarding her all the same. Jet and Droy sit at her feet protectively. "No, I need to do this. Zeref lives for the shadows and darkness and I won't help him continue that. I'm bringing his…his…" I can't even come up with a word.

"Fuckery?" Cana supplies.

"FUCKERY, yes. I'm bringing his fuckery into the light."

"That's my girl," Natsu whispers in my ear again, though I can hear the tears he's shedding in his voice.

Knowing this next part is important, I take a moment to gather my thoughts and my courage, and continue.

 _Even after the physical attacks, I apparently wasn't 'cracked' enough, so Zeref resumed his visual torture. I had thought everything else was unbearable and soul shattering. That's until I saw…Natsu. Natsu marrying Lisanna, Natsu leaving me behind for her, Natsu…_

I blush.

 _Natsu making love to Lisanna._

"Lucy, no! I would never-"

I wave away Lisanna's outburst. "I know you love Natsu like a brother, Lisanna. I would never blame you for this. But Zeref knew exactly what buttons to push. Somehow he read me like a book and knew what fears play on my subconscious." I smile over at her where she sits huddled up with Mira and Elfman, Laxus, Bixlow and Evergreen grouped around the Strauss siblings.

 _Zeref switched gears after that and showed me Natsu being ripped apart by Acnologia, Natsu being held down and drowned, Natsu being beaten to death right in front of my eyes. He must have known that the end was near because these he played for me incessantly._

 _It was around the third time through that I first heard_ him _._

 _~Why aren't you breaking?~_

 _I thought for a moment that Zeref had returned, but the image was still playing and he never came in when the images played._

" _Who's there?"_

 _~I am, dumbass.~_

 _I grew angry. Here I was, crying my heart out, bound, beaten, almost broken, and someone was playing games and calling me a dumbass._

" _Who the fuck are you?"_

 _~Demanding little thing, aren't we? I'm Etherious Natsu Dragneel. Who are you?~_

 _I must have lay there, blinking in shock, for some time. E.N.D.'s soul was speaking to me? How?_

 _~Never mind. You're Lushee. I can see your thoughts. And I can see you're not going to break. Zeref's wasting his time.~_

" _Wha-?"_

 _~So, I'm bored. Let's say we get out of here.~_

" _Bu-bu-but"_

 _I could feel my body moving, though I had no control over it. I felt my muscles strain as my legs kicked upwards and the_ whatever _that was holding me down ripped free. My good shoulder pulled and my left wrist was freed. I reached over and used the claws (claws?) on that hand to rip free my right hand. Then I sat up. AGAINST the pressure of the four magic seals meant to hold me down._

 _~There, that's better. Wow, what are these puffy things hanging off my chest?~_

 _I squawked as I watched my own hands (CLAWS!?) come up and poke my breasts. "What the fuck are you doing to my body?! Let me go!"_

 _~Pfft, you're no fun. Aren't you hungry? We've been down here a long time.~_

" _Wait, why aren't you trying to get free? Why aren't you trying to get out of my so you can meet up with Zeref and finish off whatever evil scheme you two have?"_

 _~Why would I do that? Big bro-_ I stutter, then continue. _Zeref just wants to put me back somewhere else I don't want to be. At least here I have some control. Come on, let's get outta here.~_

" _No!"_

 _~No? You like being here?~_

 _I could taste his confusion. "No. No I meant…never mind, I don't know."_

 _~Alright good, let's go.~_

 _My body stood but my legs gave out underneath me almost immediately. ~Whoa, this container is in worse shape than I thought!~_

" _I'm not a container! I'm a person!"_

" _Whatever. Container. Lushee. Who cares.~_

" _I care! You're in MY body, buster!"_

 _~Fine. Let's go, Lushee.~_

" _It's Lucy."_

 _~Right. Lushee. Like I said.~_

 _With that my body began moving forward. I'm not sure how he knew where to go but he seemed to have no problem navigating. Finally I could see. An entrance of some kind must have been ahead because I could now see my hand in front of my face. Or, more precisely, the claws in front of my face. I began to realize the full extent of what being "a container" for E.N.D. meant._

 _~You like our claws?~_

" _No!"_

 _I swear I could feel him pout._

 _~Well then you sure as fuck won't like the wings, tail or horns.~_

" _What!?"_

 _~Time to go!~ I could feel my wings flare open and, turning my head, caught a glimpse of pink and gold before the wings began flapping and my feet left the ground._

 _We flew through the opening at the end of the tunnel and rose quickly through the air, the tunnel entrance fading into the distance behind us. I don't know how long we flew like that before I noticed we were getting lower again, quickly._

" _Why are we dropping?" The ground was rushing up toward us._

 _~You're heavy, Lushee.~_

" _I am not, you asshole….soul…spirit…thing!"_

 _~I can't fully inhabit you as a container, so I only have limited control and power. Sorry.~_

 _And with that we dropped from the sky, hitting tree branches on the way down until plummeting into a thorn bush. We slowly crawled out of the thorn bush, trying to rise but unable to do so, our legs weak from lack of food and energy. So we crawled along for a while, trying to get anywhere. That's when Porlyusica found us. She knocked us out and sealed E.N.D. away. She healed me and took care of me while I got used to looking the way I do and then I left to come home._

"And now, here I am." I look up, blinking myself back into the present. The rest of the guild is silent, staring blankly at me. They have all gathered close, most touching me or Natsu in some way, a silent offering of support and communion. It's Gajeel who breaks the silence.

"Why did E.N.D. remind me of someone?" He rubs his jaw, a thoughtful look on his face.

"That's true," Erza chimes in. "He seemed familiar somehow."

"KYAAAAHHH!" I tumble sideways from the bench as an enormous slamming sound is heard on my left. Cana has slapped a keg of beer down on the table next to me, narrowly missing Juvia's legs.

"Time to drink up, Blondie. After what you've been through, you deserve to forget."

I shake my head, climbing unsteadily back to my feet. "No, thanks Cana. I'm good-"

"No, Cana's right. We had a welcome home party, I think it's time for a forgetting party. Drink up, everyone!" Master Makarov raises a cup and Mira rises to begin passing around more kegs.

"Everyone have a drink?" The Master pauses to look around the room and make sure. "A toast." He raises his cup high and we all follow suit. "To Lucy. While we all bring something special to Fairy Tail, in the end, she's the light that binds us together. Here's to having our light returned."

We all drink, though I'm blushing and crying as I do so. Natsu wraps his arm around my shoulder, his arm brushing the joints of my wings.

"Master, I think it's time that "our light" got a little rest. Okay if I put her to bed?"

The Master smiles and nods before turning to Mira for a refill on his beer.

As Natsu and I leave the guild, Erza stops us. "Sleep well, Lucy. And thanks to Natsu, you're able to sleep in your own bed tonight."

I look over at my pink-haired best friend. "You-you've been paying my rent?"

"Let's go home, Lucy."

We stepped into the new night, arms wrapped around each other.

* * *

 **A/N - *nervously twitches, awaiting reactions***


	9. Chapter 9 - Natsu

**A/N It's not often that my life goes entirely pear-shaped and leaves me with NO time to write, but guess what? IT DID! Grrr. I'm really sorry this took so long, everyone! First I kept noodling it because I had to get it just right, then school started again and it's just been one crazy thing after another! I promise I haven't forgotten nor will I ever abandon a story! Come Tartarus or high water, I will finish this story! And so, forward!**

" **Soundtrack" – "Take Me To Church" by Hozier**

* * *

As we reach the front door of Lucy's apartment, I dig in my pocket to locate the key. After a moment of increasing frustration I locate it and hand it to Lucy, a grin on my face. As she reaches to take it she leans in and presses her lips against mine. I'm not sure if it is the relief of her being home, the amount of time since I'd last felt her lips or the fact that a soul supposedly meant for me lay within her skin, but a spark of electric heat shoots through me from where her lips brush against mine straight to my toes. Before I can deepen the kiss, however, Lucy breaks away and fits the key to the lock, taking a deep breath before crossing the threshold. I follow, locking the door behind me.

She takes a moment to survey her apartment; her eyes darting over her neatly made bed, her dresser, her desk and novel, everything.

"I was here last night, you know," she murmurs at last.

I nod.

"It smelled more like you than me. How often were you here?" She turns to catch my eye.

I'm mesmerized, unable to look away. Her brown eye is full of compassion, sympathy, joy…like her eyes always were. The red eye…the red eye compels the truth from me, seeming to see into my soul. For the first time I begin to consider that Lucy's not totally Lucy anymore.

"Every day that I wasn't on a job," I reply, trying to smile nonchalantly.

Lucy studies me for a minute more before, like the sun escaping from behind a cloud, a smile breaks across her face. She leans in once again, but this time I'm ready. As her lips press against mine my arms snake around her body and gently pull her tight against me. Our slips move chastely against each other as I work to memorize the feel of her body against mine. It's like a homecoming.

As the kiss spins out I gently run the tip of my tongue along the seam of her lips, begging entrance. She grants it at the same time that her hands slide up from my waist to press more firmly against my back, holding me in place against her. Our tongues tangle, exploring and remembering the taste and texture of each other as, unconsciously, we press our hips together, electric tingles shooting up my spine at the delicious friction.

My hands slide up her back, taking her tank top with them. It's not until her wings brush the backs of my hands that I realize the problem: how will I get her shirt off over her wings? Lucy breaks the kiss reluctantly, her eyelids flickering slightly before she manages to open them. Smiling, she steps back and reaches up to her shoulders and pushes the straps of her tank top down, letting them droop down her upper arms. With her eyes trained on mine she crosses her arms across her chest and slowly slides the straps down, dragging the top down with them. As the neckline clears her breasts and reveals the lacy red bra beneath, I can feel a sweat break out on my skin.

The straps clear her arms, leaving the shirt pooled around her waist. As she hooks her thumbs into the material and slides it down over her hips, she smiles somewhat sheepishly and her fangs make another brief appearance.

My mouth goes dry and heat gathers low in my stomach.

I step close again and slide my fingertips up the skin of her arms, minutely aware of the goosebumps that rise in the wake of my touch. She leans forward slightly into me.

As the top of one finger skates along her collarbone and traces spirals on the swell of her breast, I whisper, "I'd forgotten how beautiful you are."

She blushes but holds my gaze as she places her hands lightly at my waist. I shudder slightly at the butterfly touch. Her hands ghost up my stomach, fluttering lightly along my chest before hooking the material of jacket and pushing it down my shoulders. I shrug it off the rest of the way as her hands drop back to my stomach. She steps closer and slides her hands along my skin to press her fingertips against my low back. I can feel the heat of her body filling the whisper of space between us and my breathing stutters. She closes the distance, molding our bodies together, her lips a breath away from mine.

"I was terrified I wouldn't see you again. I thought for sure…"

"What?" I slide my hands around her waist and caress the soft skin along her lower back.

She shakes her head. "I don't know. I just kept wishing for one more chance, one more moment. Now I have it and..."

"And?"

"And I'm…I'm broken. Screwed up. I don't know if I can-"

I cut her off the only way I know how: by sealing my mouth over hers. One hand presses against the curve of her lower back and she molds herself to me, fingers digging into my hips. I slant my lips over hers, deepening the kiss, begging entrance to her mouth. She grants it, a little moan escaping with her tongue. Without conscious thought I maneuver us toward the bed, spilling us both across it when the backs of her knees make contact.

It's at that exact moment that I feel her go still beneath me, muscles quivering on the edge of fight or flight. Reluctantly I pull away from her and study her face.

"Luce?"

"I-I can't. I'm…I'm sorry." She struggles to escape from beneath me.

I stand and let her loose, but grab her arm as she tries to make a run for the bathroom.

"Talk to me, Luce. I've missed the sound of your voice. What's going on?"

She stands angled away from me, her arm trembling in my grasp. "It's…it's not at all like in that cave. But the minute I felt you on top of me…"

Realization dawned.

"I'm sorry, Luce. I didn't even think…"

"It's…" She releases a shuddering sigh. "It's not your fault. Like I said, I'm screwed up. I don't even know if I can ever…"

Gently I pull her back against me and rest my cheek against the top of her head, mindful of those backswept horns. "It's not you at all, Luce. I'll do whatever I have to to help you." I bury my nose in her hair, enjoying the scent that is hers alone. "I'm here for you, no matter what."

I can feel her shoulders sag in defeat. "I've missed you so much, Natsu. All I've wanted for these past six months is to be in your arms again, to be _with_ you again. And now, I can't even do that much…"

I stare down at the back of her head for a few moments, half-baked ideas colliding with each other until finally I dismiss them all, step back slightly and spin her around in my arms. She gasps but the sound is swallowed by my lips descending to hers once again. When I finally break the kiss I rest my forehead against hers as we both labor to catch our breath. As my heartrate begins to slow I pull away slightly so her eyes meet mine. "We are together, Luce. I'm never letting you out of my sight again. When you're ready, I'll be here."

She smiles slightly and her arms tighten around my waist, hugging me closer. Unfortunately this also brings my still straining erection into direct contact with her stomach and I can't restrain the hiss that escapes me.

Lucy pulls away slightly, concern writ clear across her face. "Natsu, wha-"

I smile reassuringly and scratch absently at the back of my head. "Don't worry 'bout it, Luce. I'm just, ah, gonna step into the bathroom for a sec. You get ready for bed."

As I turn and shuffle to the bathroom (who knew hard-ons could hurt so much?) I hear her shift behind me. But it's the low urgency I hear in her soft "Natsu, wait" that has me turning back to face her. The sight of her in that blood-red bra, her skirt low on her hips, and her wings drooping disappointedly is like a punch to the gut. The breath whooshes from my lungs and my erection twitches distractingly.

Taking a deep breath, I try to smile reassuringly. "What's up, Luce?"

She moves closer (how the hell does she move like that?) and slides her hands along the bare skin of my waist once more. "The broken is fighting with the curious, Natsu, and I think the curious may have won. Can I…can I try something?"

The look she gives me is part seductress and part terrified virgin. I would never have expected that to be such an intoxicating combination. How can I say no? But it's the trembling horror I see when I close my eyes and the bitter self-disgust that rings in my ears as the memory of her voice in the guild hall trickles through my hazed brain and I know I have to say no. As I open my mouth and my lips form the word an image erupts in my mind's eye that forces the air from my lungs in one long rush.

Lucy's beautiful lips wrapped around my length, her tongue sliding up along the underside as she buries me deep in her throat, her lashes fluttering as she locks her eyes on mine, her wings trailing in a leathery puddle as one hand clutches my thigh and the other drifts down to bury itself-

I snap from the moment to find my forehead pressed hard against hers, one hand fisted tight in the hair at the back of her head and the other trapping hers against my erection, where she has managed to wrap her delicate fingers around its thickness despite still being in my pants. Ragged breathing reaches my ears and it's long moments before I realize it's me. As my brain processes that I'm hurting my Lucy and my fingers instinctively loosen themselves, she whispers pleadingly, "Natsu, please?"

In that instant, I lose all control. I buck once, twice, helplessly against her hand before spilling myself in my pants, a low, wild moan slipping past my lips.

When my sight clears and the trembling is more under control, I find I have sunk to the floor, Lucy with me. The naked desire mixed with awe that I see in her face pulls at something deep in my center, but I push it down and instead sweep her off her feet, cradling her against my chest as I carry her across the room to her bed.

Settling her down on the mattress I tuck the covers securely around her, letting her adjust her wings as I brush the hair back from her face. Leaning down, I press a soft kiss to her lips before murmuring, "Sleep Lucy. We have all the time in the world."

She smiles up at me and nods briefly before sighing softly and letting her eyelids flutter shut. I'm halfway across the room before I hear a soft snore. Glancing back, I see the moonlight washing over the bed where the most precious thing in my world sleeps, finally, with no worries.

"Goodnight, Luce."

* * *

 **A/N Am I done? OH HELL NO. There is still a Zeref out there, plus there is so much more to cover with that extra Natsu sneaking around in Lucy's head. More to come as soon as I can! In the meantime, I hope this lived up to expectations! Please R/R!**


End file.
